Our names are Vanessa and Melanie Alenier. We are your normal, everyday, average lesbian couple. We are not married because Florida law does not allow gay marriage. We are, however, in a very loving and committed long-term relationship. Like a lot of couples in long term relationships, we naturally progressed to a point that we wanted children. Wow. What an obstacle when you are gay. Especially in Florida.

Our choices were artificial insemination or adoption. Well, adoption is not even an option in Florida. There is a law in Florida that prohibits all gay men and lesbian women from adopting. It is a categorical ban that has been in effect since 1977. Obviously artificial insemination can be costly and emotionally exhausting. But because Florida wouldn’t trust us to adopt anyone else’s child, insemination seemed the only possible route.  

But fate intervened. Literally within a month of deciding to move forward with research and adding maternity coverage to our health insurance to start the process of artificial insemination, we received a phone call. That was the phone call that changed our lives. A relative gave birth to a baby boy. The Department of Children and Families (DCF) stepped in immediately and contacted family members. The baby boy was going to go into foster care unless one of his relative's came forward to intercept him from the state's system. Without a doubt in our minds, this was our child. We have not looked back since.

We quickly tried to figure out what to do and how to get him. We thankfully got in touch with the proper person at DCF. That is a feat unto itself. Within a day, Vanessa was in court before a judge. We had to have a home inspection and prepare a space for our son in order for the court to approve that he could come and live with us. We decorated a nursery, bought clothes, bottles, diapers, you name it. We did what most parents have 9 months to prepare for in a matter of 5 days.

Our son was 9 days old when he was released to us from the hospital. What a glorious, miracle of a day. We are blessed beyond words to be mommy's to this precious little creature. He is amazing. We love him more than we could ever explain. We are his family. He is our child.

Since his birth in January 2009 we have been fighting the state of Florida every step of the way to prove to them that we are deserving parents of this wonderful child. Not only that, but that he is deserving of our home as well. The 1977 ban is so black and white that those who continue to support it cannot see beyond its walls of homophobia. The road we have endured over the last year and a half has been filled with home visits by DCF once a month, home visits by the Guardian Ad Litem once a month, court hearings, trials, and many hours of e-mails and meetings with our lawyers Alan Mishael and Elizabeth Schwartz. It took several months to finally be heard in our trial for adoption which occurred November 2009. Our wonderful judge, Maria Iglesia-Sampedro, ruled that the law was unconstitutional and granted our adoption in that trial. However, it took DCF until January 2010 to submit all proper documentation in order for the judge to sign off on the adoption. DCF then had 30 days to decide whether to appeal, which DCF did.  Since February 2010 we have been moving forward to defend in the appellate court the trial court’s decision that the ban is unconstitutional as to every gay man and woman in the State of Florida. If we win there, our case may then go to the Florida Supreme Court.

Fighting the system has become financially and emotionally draining. We have no idea how much longer this may take. Our home-life hangs in the balance at this point. The only thing that gets us through the motions is knowing that if our case is heard and the law is ruled unconstitutional in the higher courts, then the law will hopefully be thrown out in Florida. That would open the doors for all gay couples and gay foster parents to begin adopting in Florida. So many children need permanent homes and families. Why would Florida want to prevent these children from being adopted by human beings that should have equal rights and equal love to give?

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read our story. This is just a little glimpse into our lives. We can only hope to make the world a more equal place one day at a time.


                           Sincerely,

                           Vanessa and Melanie Alenier